WARNING: Some of the content on this website may cause hallucinations, synaesthesia, or absurd thought patterns. Scroll cautiously!

Howdy, secret creepers and cyber surfin' strangers...my name is Ryan 'R. THIES' Thies. Yep.
WELCOME TO MY REALITY: A postmodest, self-indulgent smorgasbord of artistic abandon!

Totally trippin' out with 'Cocktator' and 'Enlight Bulb' at Kettle Art Gallery in Deep Ellum, TX. June 2012. [Photo by George Wallace III]

PLEASE NOTE: The term 'trip' is not just an outdated reference to psychedelic drug use, it is also an acronym that actually stands for TOTALLY RAD, INTERESTING PERSON. That's what I am

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Lightbulbs (Heroes on A Half Watt)"

"Enlight Bulb" The 144,000 Gigawatt Electric Head of Cartoonism

I enjoy ridiculous puns and wordplay. Naturally, I sign my work with my first initial (R) and last name (THIES) because when pronounced correctly, it sounds like artiste. Pretty perfect, huh?

*I've met people who argue this, saying that Thies is pronounced theece. If you are one of these morons, do yourself a giant favor: study French, study German, relearn English and then tell me that the H isn't silent ;)

I might provide a little insight into my warped way of thinking here and there - or - maybe not. Everybody knows that trying to explain why something is funny kills the joke. Unless you are dabbling in the convoluted realm of anticomedy...when killing the joke can actually be hilarious.

Bold colors, solid linework, checkerboards and abstracted body parts are a few elements of my style, which I refer to as Cartoonism. At some point though (2004), my style went through puberty and started getting hair where there had been none before...whoa! I somewhat jokingly refer to these stubbletastic works as Pubism

"Hairy Bunnies (in Warholian Formation)"

"Hairy Bunny (with Snot Bubbles)"

While we're on the subject of art parody (or Jokes of Art), here's a fun comic featuring Smurfette

Blue Hairy Bunny Painting and Blue Doodle

By the way, everything I know about painting...I learned from Bob Ross and Jackson Pollock

I've been painting since 2006, and have posted a number of silly painting demos on my YouTube channel. I paint so incredibly fast that these real-time videos are usually mistaken for time-lapse.
HYPERCARTOONISM: Painting faster than the Speed of Light, yep yep!

"Big Cheese" Nirvana and Bleach on Paper (2010)

"Big Cheese (Remastered)" Digital Drawing (2014)

As an obsessive perfectionist and closet alchemist, I have this tendency to revisit, revise and perfect my artworks and compositions...transmuting base cartoon metals into cartoon art gold

Marker on Paper (2001) "The Depressive Suppression of Reciprocal Happiness" Acrylic on Canvas (2013)

I found my calling in 2013, and started up my own reality tv show of sorts: Art & Quackers. Pretty basic and probably boring; with episodes consisting of me working on an art project...only to be interrupted by a telephone call from my foul-mouthed art agent, Suck MaDUCK. You can find the vids on my YouTube channel.

Yelloooo? It's National THOUGHT DOG Day??

I created an Art & Quackers comic strip as a supplement to the videos. Kinda like Calvin & Hobbes meets Beavis and Butthead.

I made seven webisodes before moving on to other video ideas. There's only so much you can do by yourself. The best ones are: Phony Interview | National Thought Dog Day | Juxtapoz CEREAL

Snap! Crackle! Pop Surrealism! JUXTAPOZ Art & Culture CEREAL Commercial

"Thought Dog" Fun-Of-A-Kind Cartoonism

"Pardon me, Mr. Watterson" Stencil Prize

Post-Nineties CARTOONISM (as perpetuated by that latter-day enigma, Ryan ‘R. Thies’ Thies), might have a tiny lil root in San Marcos TX, but that is another yawnworthy story in itself…LOL!
C'mon, if Star Wars started with Episode IV…what do you care?

"By The Power of...Grayscale?" Fun-of-a-kind Cartoonism by Ryan R. THIES

But I digress; Yoda makes the best guacamole. Just throw him in a blender, hehe…you’ll see. Now let us begin our ultra unbiased, macromicroscopic, super scrutinizingly meticulous 'analalalysis’ of this peculiar phenomenon known as Cartoonism, with a little art exhibition dating back to, September of 2006…shall we???

Second-wave San Martian AND newly-fangled Dentonite, Ryan ’R. Thies’ Thies, displays his cartoony artworks in Dallas (Texas)

[Save the round of applause for later and pay attention, folks, because in this next paragraph, R. Thies switches from third-person to first-person narrative…just look for the quotations]

Sci-Fi Expo Flyer from THE FUTURE PAST

Poking Fun at Sexuality
"Sex Afeel" Pun-of-a-Kind CARTOONISM

Ryan R. THIES. Counter Culture. Sept. '06

Becoming quite bored with lamestream America, I created my own supercity, San Franseattle Located in the altered state of Texafornia, on the outskirts of Time, between the '60s and '90s

And if you like trippin' balls, then you'll love - TRIPPIN' THUMBNUTS!

Spawning a comic inspired by It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Beginning with a sequence modeled after The D.E.N.N.I.S. System

Album Art for Rattlesnake Shake single

I wrote some silly lyrics, too. On the spot. Little did I know until after we finished recording that Fleetwood Mac AND Motley Crue had already been there, done a Rattlesnake Shake...dangit

I would love to record more tunes in the future... maybe even put out a full-length album...but it's anyone's guess as to when that might happen.

*Raul and Reed are involved in a number of other badass bands, my favorite being The Mites. Also, PLUG, FEED, and White Christ. Not to mention - R. Thies & His Awkward Buttlers (See Below)

The last bit of album artwork that I created was, coincidentally, for my own music project, The Heystacks. Possibly influenced by Nirvana and The Cramps...goin' for that trashy ole barnyard garage punk sound. I recorded this three-song single of sorts during the summer of ((2 0 1 2))

Featuring thee super talented Raul Vela IV on drums and thee ultra amazing Reed DeAngelis on bass..who also recorded the whole dang thang. I sang and played geetar...left-handed.

I made this partially animated, live-action music video of sorts for the Rattlesnake Shake, yessir

Folks across the U.S. are finding quarters stamped with R. THIES. Is this just a COINcidence? Click on that QUARTER to find out!!!

Strange ExCHANGE: Anybody who finds one of these R. THIES quarters and mails it in, will receive mystery art goodies in return!

I enjoy writing just as much as drawing, painting, comics, video, animation, and music. Here's an excerpt from my BIOGRAPHY:

From a very early age, R. Thies aspired to write about himself in the third person. He found that the best way to nurture this desire was to become an artist and write an impressive biography just like so many artists have.

Thies not only found it liberating to write about himself in the third person, but also to write about himself in the third person - talking about himself in the third person. Rumor has it that he once stated, "Oh, that R. Thies fellow? I heard he's a creative demigenius...half genius, half dumbass."

Born and raised in Texas, Ryan R. Thies is quite an anomaly. He has no southern accent. Probably because he is left-handed. R. Thies currently lives in Seattle, where he spends most of his time drawing and snapping selfies in his super swanky artist loft...located INSIDE the Space Needle.

R. THIES: Elusive Artist Parody

"My sense of humor is influenced by Andy Kaufman, Bill Hicks, Mitch Hedberg, Jim Carrey, Mel Brooks and Monty Python, etc."

Pointing you towards a better whatever - with Stubberfoam ®THIES

I might seem like an unusual person, but...I still put my pants on (while painting) just like everybody else does - one leg at a time!

(((Daas Musique Der Liev Performuntzen)))

Art Comedy Arsenal of Props/Noisemakers

I make an art zine, Thought Nog, cram-packed with Cartoonism.

[I am currently putting together another Thought Nog Anthology]

Give ME an inch and I'll Give YOU 2.54 Centimeters

"Pass Dat Sh*t" Fun-Of-A-Kind CARTOONISM by Ryan (R. THIES) Thies

I WAS a freelance artist for hire, I suppose. Many people are confused by the term 'freelance', and automatically assume that you will design their epic, super meaningful tattoo, or recreate a mural-sized masterpiece in their living room pro bono. Bands with no future also want you to work for free..so they can spend their hard-earned allowance on beer, hard drugs, and those super-thin condoms that are actually quite popular these days.

They lure you in with the classic, far-fetched idea that their band's gonna make it...one day. So you work diligently, designing the trippiest flyer ever known to the Psychedelic Era...only to find out that they (the vocalist in particular) think the colors are all wrong. "They're too primary", he says.

He took Introduction to Color Theory at some obscure community college a few years ago and, for some peculiar reason, thinks that makes him an unrefuted expert on Art & Design...putting the likes of Wassily Kandinsky and Piet Mondrian to shame. He disregards your intuitive color choices...

After much frustration and countless revisions, 'the expert' has the nerve to tell you that maybe what you had done IN THE FIRST PLACE isn't so bad, after all. "The colors actually work", he says. You think to yourself, "Are you fucking kidding me??" Then the bassist nonchalantly informs you that their show had been cancelled before you even made revisions.

So I am no longer responding to any inquiries regarding 'freelance' work. Being compensated purely by the prospect of exposure is the oldest trick in the 'How Do I Make A Real Artist Work For Free?' book. Now don't go sobbing uncontrollably quite yet..there is still much hope for you, indeed!

Seriously. Just because you can't slap a saddle on my back, mount me, and dig those freshly-polished, gold-plated spurs into my hips doesn't mean there aren't OTHER feral pack mules to harness. There are A LOT of talented artists out there - just waiting to be exploited - so go find one!

Nobunny show in Denton TX (2008)

Black Cat Choir Flyer; 2006

Dum Dum & The Smarties; 2006

For Chorizo Approved Records; 2006

For the Unicycle Football League; 2009

Funkotron Shirt Design; 2010

Album cover for Audio Gravy by Funkotron

Illustration for 45 Fund Pamphlet; 2011

45 Fest Flyer; 2011

November 2002: Somewhere deep in a humid, swirling abyss of tumbleweeds, withering bluebonnets, and petrified cow manure, Ryan (R. THIES) Thies was doing something. And not just any ole something, either. Something specific. Yeah. Super specific.

After putting the finishing touches on the fifteenth and final piece for an upcoming art exhibition (his very first), R. THIES thrust his rockhard Sharpie pen into the sky and shouted,"CARTOONISM!"

When asked about that epic epiphany, R. Thies had this to say:

"I don't know what came over me; I started thinking of past art movements, and the superfluous usage of that peculiar suffix -ism. Given the heavy influence that comic books and animated cartoons has on my style, Cartoonism seemed like the perfect (and most obvious) descriptor. Although I arrived at this term on my own, I would not go so far as to say that I coined it. Surely, some other artistic genius out there has already taken credit for that...someone who can back it up with years worth of exhibits, as well as newspaper articles that link them to CARTOONISM."

Article from the San Marcos Daily Record

From November 22nd to December 6th (2002), 'Cartoonism' was on display at The Coffee Pot in good ole San Marcos of Texas! This was actually the very first time anyone anywhere had the opportunity to publicly admire art by pro couchsurfer, R. THIES.

"Volcanic Symmetry"

A former Coffee Pot regular (requesting to remain anonymous) stated: "I really just thought Ryan was some deadbeat kid, you know? You can ask pretty much anybody who probably already forgot...he was always 'camping out' there, bumming cigarettes from people; I saw him get kicked out a couple of times. Then one night he shows up, and hangs up all this art - it was weird. Looking at his artwork made me feel like I was tripping on acid."

"The Complacent Frustrations of Telepathic Tongue-Twisters Expressing Melancholic Prenatal Thought"

The artshow had no opening or closing reception. Considering it took place in a coffee shop (a venue that your average highbrow art snob will disregard altogether), it might not even qualify as an actual art exhibition. Nevertheless, it is probably very noteworthy!

[Thus concludes the first segment regarding that 21st Century Art phenomenon known as - CARTOONISM. To be continued]

"Cranial Catastrophe" Marker on Paper

"Self-Phone" Ink/Marker on Paper; 2001

"Zipcode Vortex" Colored Pencil on Paper

"Cocktator" Ink & Colored Pencil on Paper by R. THIES

"Clucktator" Ink & Colored Pencil on Paper by R. THIEF

I was frontman and lead tambourine player in this fun-of-a-kind band, coincidentally named R. THIES & His Awkward Buttlers.

Thies & The Butts rockin' out at the CoPo in SMTX. Aug. 20th, 2011. Photo by Katie Vela

With my better half, LEGGY SUE, we were more than a quintet:

Rockin' out at the CoPo in SMTX. Aug. 20th, 2011. Photo by Austin Humphreys

We played five shows and released a six-song EP on cassette... Not too bad for a band that was together for barely four months.

Rockin' a backstreet alley in SMTX. Sept. 10th, 2011. Photo by Austin Humphreys

Glag Vole, consisted of three original tunes (You Freak Me Out, Heebie Jeebies, and Candyman) as well as three cover songs.

You Freak Me Out: Artwork for the Glag Vole cassette

We covered "Surfin Bird", our version is somewhere between the original version by The Trashmen and the cover version that The Ramones did. We also did a cover of "Splish Splash" by Bobby Darin, plus a cover of "Born Loser" by Murphy & The Mob.

Cassette Release at Sundance Records. Oct. 15th, 2011. Photo by Austin Humphreys

Nevermind The Awkward. Halloween show at Wake the Dead. Oct. 29th, 2011.

After Halloween Show at Wake the Dead. Oct. 29th, 2011.

Final Show. Brittflakes' Graduation Party. Dec. 5th, 2011. Photo by Austin Humphreys

The band is the subject of the indie documentary, Reality Does Bite. A Post-Nineties film that was coincidentally produced by Ryan (R. THIES) Thies. Following in the cinematic footsteps of flicks such as: Slacker, Clerks, and 1991: The Year Punk Broke

R. Thies & Leggy Sue (VOCALS)

Raul 'Kid Cobra' Vela IV (DRUMS)

Barry 'Bumblebee' Elkanick (GUITAR)

Travis 'Pretty Boy' Barron (BASS)

Scott 'Mocha' Corbin (GUITAR)

Glag Vole Cassette Cover

August 2006: Dangerously close to a gigantic breakthrough in the Austin art world on the coffee shop scene, R. Thies decided it was time to reobscurify himself. He did so by relocating to the D/FW area, and started attending Texas Woman's University:

Working on another Cartoonism masterthies - "Cocktator" Summer' 08

"Partial Sensory Explosion" Mixed Media; 2006 After Lichtenstein's Explosion (No. 1)

"The Fractalization of Woody Woodpecker" Fun-Of-A-Kind Cartoonism by R. THIES

"Itsy Bitsy Fingies" Acrylic on Masonite (2008)

Hot Shot Artist on TWU Campus (Fall '07)

"Throne of Cone" Mixed Media; 2007

R. THIES on His Throne of Cone

"Floral Contortion" Ink/Colored Pencil on Paper; 2005

"Haretic" Ink/Colored Pencil on Paper; 2005


Extreme Gross Up - WHOOAAAAAAAA

"Quagmire's Karma" Fun-Of-A-Kind CARTOONISM by Ryan (R. THIES) Thies

Might need a pair of noseplugs for this Friday Morning FARTOON


I worked at B4 in Dallas (TX) for a while...engaged in a little bit o' live painting, also. Read more about it here

While living in Dallas, I started to delve more into the realm of comic con with my esteemed lowbrow colleague, Miguel Aguilar.

Participating in comic con as an exhibitor seemed very amusing to me... considering my peculiar flavor of fringe cartoon art and underground comix is not exactly embraced by common confolk.

Knowing that the odds of me actually making any sales is very unlikely at these public pop culture orgies, I usually spend time drawing in my sketchbook, dodging dirty looks from disapproving parents, fucking with people and facilitating awkward moments.

Freakin' out w/ Hunter S. Zombie?!?

Phonin' around at 2013 Dallas Comic Con

Initially created Sascrotch in 2004, and yet I'm STILL looking for other cartoonists, animators, and writers who want to collaborate with me.

In 2014, Suck MaDuck took my esteemed lowbrow colleague (Miguel "Mad Miggy" Aguilar) under his crabby wing and began representing the two of us, as an artist duo: Artners in Crime.

The Ambiguously Straight Duo

Kinda like Flight of the Conchords, but instead of two musicians from New Zealand trying to make it in the Big Apple, Artners in Crime is about two underground cartoonists trying to make it in the Big D (Dallas)! You can find these on my YouTube channel.

I produced a couple of teaser clips and about six webisodes, but there's only so much you can do on a laptop. The last webisode is from the 2015 Dallas Comic Con (Fan Expo Dallas, whatever) just before I moved to San Franseattle...ending this film project.

Welcome to my favorite part of this far out art trip - THE CLIMAX Suggestive, absurd and sensuous stuff. Some have written me off as 'that weird guy who draws dicks' but there is much more to me and my art. I am not a fan of macho-types (alpha males). My depictions of male genitalia are actually intended to be abstract parodies of masculinity but, um...I'm sure you already knew that!

"Peniskating" Pen & Colored Pencil; 2007

"Sex Educated" Acrylic on Masonite; 2008

"Headed For Uranus" Acrylic on Masonite; 2008

Penis Pity: Counterpoint to Freud's concept of Penis Envy. Havin' a weiner ain't so fun!

"Hello Sex (Male)" Acrylic on Masonite

"Hello Sex (Female)" Acrylic on Masonite

Looks like you have reach the end! But for those of you who are excitedly saying, "MORE, PLZ!", do not worry. This website is a mutant work in progress, and more is on the way. I will be adding additional sections, extra pseudocomix and cartoonism on a weekly basis*. Check back soon!
*If we're lucky. My nine-year old laptop that I do all this work on is close to completely crapping out and I can't afford a replacement.